Nonchalance

Everything seem normal today. Monday after a whole week of rest. He laughed, I laughed, we joked. He is back to his usual self again. And me too. For awhile, I wld have tot the issue btw us is solved.

But the words coming from his msn seem little blades cutting through my heart. I have allowed him to cut me again. The very fact that he is considering both me and his ex is too much for me. My frens tried to cheer me up. But still I teared... silently in the toilet of our office. The only solace I had was this one colleague who is going thru the same stage as I am. Except I think hers is much more painful then I do. Ending a 7.5 yrs relationship.

We were back to our usual selves while he sent me back. I do not know if he is just trying to make up for the hurts hurled towards me or he is also trying very hard to conquer his fears. But much as I know, that sweetness came back again. For awhile, I din want it to end. Knowing pretty well when he is away, things might be forever different btw us. Just like what my fren told me, I have to stop him from hurting me anymore. I need to re-consider us while he is away. But I know that will really be difficult... Cos i know deep down within, watever he does, I will always forgive if he still sees a future in us.