Just as my previous blog, things had progressed in a whirlwind that even myself is amazed at. The rapid holding of hands signifying something out of us but yet, somehow, the uneasiness pangs me from within. Have I make the wrong decision that will lead me to the messy life I used to have again ?
I knew I shldnt have allowed things to progress the ways they did, knowing pretty well its a big risk im taking towards him. However, the feelings just developed day by day. Now, back in Singapore, I could not stop thinking about it. Reviewing the things he said to me, I couldnt help shuddering again. I never wanna hurt anyone at all. But at the same time, I dun wanna go thru the pain at all. But it seem as the days go and the feelings getting stronger and also the connection between us, I begin to realise im falling deeper. Falling deeper into the abyss of love...
Haiz... The decision still gotta be made by him. To choose btw 5 yrs or 5 weeks.. The answer is pretty obvious. But somehow i still hope the answer will change...
A crazy little gurl who is also a believer of the Love of God... A little extremist, emotional and neurotic at times...But overall still a simple gurl who seeks simple things in life.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Mystery
I didnt know how it got started. Neither I have any idea when it started too. 1 nite in the beautiful capital might be the only catalyst that I could think of that started it. The caring ways and the adoring smile.. The understanding.. I never thought it will happened this way and so far away from home too.
I know I should not have cross the boundary. But he has secretly and unsoundly came into my locked heart. The conversations we shared were of our common thoughts. Now.. i cannot help but start thinking of him day and nite, knowing that he too, is feeling the same way.
I told myself all these gotta stopped when we are back in singapore cos feelings should nv have grown in the first place. Once again, i have let my feelings ruled over my brain. The realistic me knows all the don'ts of him as he is currently with someone else. Having problems with her doesnt mean I can take that chance cos that would be totally unfair to her. And and... I do not even know if these feelings are left to stay on his side or its just the "correct ambience, correct time.." The fear crept in again... The fear of liking someone that I shldnt...
I know I should not have cross the boundary. But he has secretly and unsoundly came into my locked heart. The conversations we shared were of our common thoughts. Now.. i cannot help but start thinking of him day and nite, knowing that he too, is feeling the same way.
I told myself all these gotta stopped when we are back in singapore cos feelings should nv have grown in the first place. Once again, i have let my feelings ruled over my brain. The realistic me knows all the don'ts of him as he is currently with someone else. Having problems with her doesnt mean I can take that chance cos that would be totally unfair to her. And and... I do not even know if these feelings are left to stay on his side or its just the "correct ambience, correct time.." The fear crept in again... The fear of liking someone that I shldnt...
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