Rainy nites

Rainy nites had always been personal favourite of mine. Though some pple might link it to be melancholic or probably more of a nuisance to those who are driving... Well, to me, it just meant that God decided to give us some coolness in this very dry country of ours.

Rainy nites always brought back memories of me staying in the hostel back in uni days. Nites where mugging to the late hrs are norm for me and my roommates, but whenever we hear the rain coming at nite, the first thing we will do is close our windows, draw our blinds, switch off our lights and jumped to our bed to sleep. This has always been a common activity we both share during our hostel days...

Rainy nites during relationships were especially special to me too. The drizzling of the rain drops on the windscreen of the car while me and my once special one cruised thru the streets, humming to the jazzy songs that were played along had always melted my heart. But that was also a memory now...

Rainy nites to me right now still had that special touch on me, though I dunno why. Probably I still yearn for the warmth that human touch can bring amidst the cool weather it brings. No matter what it was, rainy nites will always always remain special to me.. :)

A trip down to the memorial lane

Like what the title said, tis is indeed a trip down the memorial lane as we went to the opening of the former supreme court and the city hall. It was a crazy afternoon and we really enjoyed ourselves. I have always liked museums and it feels nice to have known how a court really looks like on the inside. Hmm... and that scary stairway as well...


Here we come !


Posing rite outside the entrance


We Love Museums !


Trying to look strict...


We salute Singapore !


In the courtroom !

29

This year, im finally getting into the final yrs of my 20s. Well, it sort of creep me in the beginning cos I know that I really haven't acheived anything yet out of my 29 yrs of living. Yeah, I got my degree and sorts but other than that, I dun think i got anything out of my life.

Though my frens celebrated this bday , but somehow in my heart, i know things are not fulfilled. Im not happy and satisfied at where I am now. Could things really changed for the better ? I dunno.. I just know what can go wrong, it all did went wrong. Perhaps Im getting abit of pesimistic here but guess wat, if you have gone thru wat i did for the past 2 yrs, u wld certainly know the true meaning of ups and downs. Till now, i still cun find someone i could really trust to talk to about such stuffs. Will there be any ? But anyway, wats the point of talking to anyone when the problems remained the same ?

Today, i suddenly got reminded of the song : "somewhere over the rainbow"... Yeah, its a beautiful song which describes beautiful hope for pple. But really, will there be hope over the rainbow somehow ? Will there be someone who truly understands ?

Does miracles exist ?

As a christian, I have always believed in God's power and sovereignty. His miracles on others are always seen throughout the whole period of my life. Hence, I know He is very real. Well, my CGL once said that if a person always need miracles in his/her life, then he/she must be quite incapable to manage his/her life. I do agree to a large extent to this viewpoint.

But prior to that, the "me" now really need lotsa miracles to help me get out of the deep deep valley I've been in these 2 yrs. I really do understand what's the meaning of whatever can go wrong will go wrong. In fact, im so exhausted that sometimes I do have the notion of giving it all up. What's the point of trying so hard, being the best you can when others, which dun even have to try, can have all other things in the world. I am so alone at times, but does anyone ever knows that ? Does pple always have the notion that Sue is always so cheery and jovial that she doesnt have any problems on herself ?

Miracles, this word seem so far away from me. Perhaps it does happen to others but that person is not me... Can everything be right again ? Does anyone ever understand what I'm going thru ?

When I cun understand why

When I cun understand why bad things happened, my tears flow...
When I cun understand why, my heart seem to be twisted...
When I cun understand why, I ask God...
When I cun understand why, He was silent...
When I cun understand why, my strength seem so weak..
When I cun understand why, life itself seem so heavy...
When I cun understand why, somehow or another, I gotta keep walking..
When I cun understand why, somewhere in my heart, i know things happened for a reason
When I cun understand why, i know He is always in control..

A little change

Almost 3 weeks to my new job. Well, the new environment is one of a very new and nice one. Vast difference to what I am in previously... Though there were multiple calls to make at nite for US conf call, one can be rather relax at the office. Flexible working hrs, long lunch times and tea breaks, its almost back to my Philips days again.

I have been thinking of my career recently. All the relevant ups and downs over the past yr have really taught me alot. Trusting God even when He is absolutely silent. Knowing that His hands are working even though there r no sound from Him. Indeed He has been good to me. I thanked God for letting me having the privilege to know Him so many yrs ago...

Life itself

Just finished my kickboxing class with my fren. Tonite session has been one of fun and laughter. My sports shoe sole suddenly came off and I have to remove it on the spot and did the exercise with my bare feet (with socks on)

Just a little update... Life itself has not dealt so unfairly to me as now I have accepted a new position in my fren's department. Well, at least now I do not have to lament about my job anymore... It seem a little brighter on my career. Well, I am rather excited about it. Hope that it will be a good start.

I do miss the colleagues I have in my office now. We been through so much together even though its just a few mths for me in the office. I will remember the joy and laughters we share, the lunch time "iphone game times" and the late nites and parties we went to. Though work was hell, we always have each other for support. Thanks so much... I will never forget you girls ! May all of you find your own happiness in ways beyond imagination ! :)

Stagnating....

Well, am at home trying to spend precious time with myself. Can't help but feel stagnating in all aspects of life. Once I was full of passion for life, but when I start to hit the big 3s, I begin to realise that I am back to the start... No satisfaction in all aspects of life..

Life jus seem to wheez past me like a stranger... Never staying long enough for me to ponder the truth of life.. The past week has been one of ups and downs. Our pastor is being accused of misapproprating of church funds. I only wanna say.. I TRUST IN MY FAMILY....

Now Im here, sitting in my room, pondering about what I really acheived in life. The answer is NOTHING... Perhaps Im in relapse again.. Perhaps I will be jus breezing life thru till I closed my eyes permanently..

Back in Action

Hello, back in action after months of disappearance..Got hooked up with work and my Macbook is dying... It's really time to change a new one... Heehee.. Just got back from Shanghai for my bro's wedding. Its been so nice at SH that I almost wished that I could stay there forever. Well, its back to reality and hell in JK.. Do enjoy the photos though. :)

Disappointments

Disappointment might just change into your next appointment. This is what I often heard that was preached in church. But how many times can a person really take disappointments ? Will disappointments ultimately led to not having any expectations on the one you feel trusted to ?

I was really disappointed on Sat nite. Was left alone walking at a red light district at the eastern part of Sg. Seriously, doesnt feel good to be ogle at by desperate old uncles. This is really not the first time I was let down, but times and times again, I told myself God has given us the grace to forgive and so we ought to forgive everytime. But this time, I really couldnt take it lying down. In fact, i was the only person that was left as others got a lift back.

Perhaps God is once again teaching me patience. But this time, the disappointment came a tad too strong. Probably I will stay off dinner wif my cg for awhile.

Love that goes a long way

The Proper Shot



That's laughter....



That's seriousness....



That's cuteness...



That's...... Frenshippp.......

Mask

Everyone wears a mask at almost every point in his or her life. Why do I say that ? Well, somebody might right now wearing the mask of a filial son or daughter, the mask of being a diligent worker, the mask of being a seemingly good fren.. All in all, pple would always unknowingly assume "mask" as a sign of hypocrisy...

Well, I used to think about it that way too. But today, a thought suddenly came to me. A mask might not necessarily be a bad thing. In fact, masking, to a certain extent, brings out the humanity in the human nature. Why do I say that ? Given a scenario, an old dad in hospital bed... Family is poor... Son has to work really hard to pay the bills. But this filial son, knowing that sulking and worrying about the bills in front of his dad will only make it worst. Unknowingly, he put on the "mask", reassuring the dad everything is fine and within control. Dad felt peace, dad recovers...

Of cos, mask can be used as form of hypocrisy when someone really want something badly but couldnt get it from others. But thru the century, "masking" might also be the very habit that have kept many love r/s or family from failing. One might argue that it is really through one's nature that reflected such behaviour. Well, that I do not know... I just did know alot of times, when Im faced with a certain circumstances, rather than having the grave attitude that pull everyone down, I rather mask myself to exult the positivity in the situation.

Down the valleys

As I start the new year with new hopes, life itself has treated me a little differently. Firstly, was down wif high fever followed by gastric flu. Seem like illnesses always like to strike on me for a double portion.

The stress from work is building increasingly. Realized that the nature of the job is not what i had imagined originally. But yet, what can I do ? Can I just write the letter and throw it to the HR ? Carrying the burden of my family and also all the bills... I have to be extremely careful with each step I take. I really dislike waking up so early everyday and going through that motion. Perhaps its time I really gotta tink about myself more.