The Uncertainty...

The difference btw men and women has always been the topic of the century. Issues of the heart are always the center of such topics. Recently, as I was browsing through the bookshelves, the bestsellers are often those who centered around "venus" and "mars". I often wondered why God makes adam and eve so different though she came from him. There ought to be great similarities btw them both. However, either physically or emotionally, God has certainly put a vast difference to it.

Women tend to be tipping towards the "emotional" scale of the balance. Whereas men tend to be more "logical". Recently, I have been so busy with the issues of life that its been so long since I tot of BGR. As I browse the bookshelves looking for the "7 habits of highly effective pple", my eyes inadvertantly caught sight of the relationship book. I started a train of tots between man and woman. There will always be uncertainties btw man and woman but probably cos of such differences, God has indeed made r/s so interesting. As I once again went into the dating scene, I realised that there are constantly interesting things to explore over each other. I dunno wat's the point of my blog here but I felt that there will always be uncertainties over man's and woman's life. Its just how the couple chose to overcome it and embrace the future ahead.

As I continued this journey called life, Im glad that God is showing the beautiful little things dat He has created for all mankind. And my brother, I sincerely give u my best blessing for nxt week as u journeyed down ur life wif my lovely roomie. I am just so happy for the both of u ! Smile :)

The end of everything

Something within me clicked the moment my fren told me that she saw u with the girl on christmas service. How u lovingly helped to hold the girl's bag and the closeness of u with her; all these images just popped ever so clearly in my head.

At that precise moment, i knew exactly I have waken up. Woken up after a yr in my dreamy stage. That scenarios as described by my fren somehow sounded the alarm in my heart and woke me from the dream I have been in for a yr. At that moment, I knew I have thoroughly given u up. A part of me was excited as finally I can heaved a sign of relief but another part of me somehow felt the emptiness within. Well, in summary, Im glad that this day finally came. It also meant that now, my heart is truly ready and available for other romances in my life.

Thru it all, God is truly amazing. He is always not late, not early but always on time. On this valentine's day, He allows me to truly let go of everything and finally be able to move on to wat I think will be the most amazing year of my life ! And of cos, I thank God that I have another 1 and half mths to my fulfillment of my mini vow and at which, once again, I will be very open to relationships again. Thank you Jesus for total healing !

A gift long time ago...

This blog has been started a few years ago during this period cos of someone who will always be away in Malaysia during this period of time. This person loves to write blog and because of ultimate boredom during tis period, I decided to start this blog. A blog dat will pen down all my realistic feelings and emotions I ever felt towards something or towards him.

The irony is such dat all these changes within the last 1 yr. The blog I started for him will never be read by him anymore. Yesterday, as I cleared my messy room for this festive season, I came upon something dat once touched my heart tremendously. The turmoil of emotions flushed over me as I saw the most beautiful present I have received in my life. It does not cost much but it certainly means the dearest to me cos it was done out of love by him. As I read the birthday greetings from him, my tears keep flowing. Y does it still hurt so much ? I asked the Lord. There was again silence...

As I saw this present again, it dawned upon me that Im a person who never knows how to love someone. I had hurt someone who loves me so dearly a yr ago... Though I have forgiven myself and the Lord forgiven me, but this certainly tot me dat I nv noe how to love someone. Im always demanding, quick-tempered and taking for granted the love he showered to me before. Most absurbly, I chose to let him go for a flaw dat is causing him pain too. The past is the past, it can never be re-lived. From this, I know Im someone who is not worthy to love someone or even have anyone to love me back. I prayed dat he will always be living in happiness. I will put down watever dat is in the past n try to be positive and concentrate on my career cos I nv have to courage to love and be loved again.



The birthday gift dat I will always treasure...

Going with the momentum

Recently, my life seems pretty much on track. Im completing my application for my Master of Science program. I still do not know if this course is really for me or my direction for this year should be studying. Well, Im praying that God will give me an answer. If the application is negative, then I will know I ought to re-direct my ways again. However, I get this strange joy of doing all the preparation works of my application. Maybe its cos I have always wanted to study Master for the longest time. And I get this tinge of excitment when I finally get the signature of my boss on the application. Not knowing what lies ahead, there is suddenly a thrill dat surge thru my whole body. Haha..

In addition, I also booked my 2nd driving test in May. The past failure will not deter me from getting my car license. My dream of driving my own car will definately come to past this year! I always pictured myself driving a red Honda Jazz to my way to work. So Zhai ! Haha...

Anyway, to those who is reading my blog. This is a personal space for my ownself to vent my personal feelings and emotions. If you are my ex cg members who do not know me very well, pls kindly respect my privacy by not continuing to read as sometimes I would touch on my own personal struggles in my relationships. Thanks for interest in my life. I appreciate it.