All it takes for the final showdown were the words "he got a new target now.." At this, as usual, i text him to find out the truth though I wasnt sure why i did exactly that. But the sudden rush of emotions just came along. The rage within. The anger of being cheated so ultimately by wat he called as fear of r/s. Once again, he has shown me his true color. Within a span of a few mths, he can get himself a new target.
Once again, I dunno why I allow the words to cut into my heart again. He replied, saying there wasnt a new girl... But I can never trust him again. Never ever... I felt so tired quarreling with him. All these gotta stopped. I told myself. Maybe it was my persistence to hold on dat caused all these upsets. But I know it gotta be stopped. This r/s was meant to have a full stop a few mths ago. It was the total end but I allowed it to eat inside me. I hated myself very much. Hated myself for being a weakling while he moved on. Hated myself for being a cry baby. Hated myself for succumbing to the romantism overseas dat started all these rubbish.
From this week onwards, I will disappear in his life. Things will be given back to him. Line will be drawn. Words n contact will be minimised. Till im better. Till i know I can face him again. This wound, when will it ever heal ?
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