The feeling of Transparency

It certainly came as a surprise to me to have met someone in the middle of the nite rite at a place I have not been for a long time and which carried certain memories of the past btw us. Most surprisingly, we sat only a table away from each other.

I can also see the shock on ur face too when I saw u. Nevertheless, jus unassumingly like in the office, we continued with our conversations with our frens, treating each other as transparent in our lives. Hmm... I could not explain why I still have that sunken feeling inside of me. Though I was having fun joking around wif my frens, which I can see u r too with ur 3 pretty ladies frens, this sunken feeling crept inside of me too. Perhaps u might never understand wat I talked abt, but I guess this is the feeling of unease of treating someone once so close in disregard. I din know when I can do it before. Perhaps its the way u started the transparency thingy first.. The no contact, no communication, in the office often makes me uneasy but I noe its the way u want it so I will continue with it though with reluctance. Cos never in my life, I will treat a fren or someone like dat before. Perhaps this is the weaker side of me... Always disliking the fact or the idea dat someone is disliking u or going out of his way to avoid u. Why must things turn out this way so sourly ? I will think. Why cun we put down watever is in the past and be frens again ? I will asked.

But all these r just questions I will occasionally think of. However, to face up to reality, I will respect this decision u have chosen btw us. Yah, and I certainly will still give my best wishings in watever u do. For now, I wan to love myself more and will not allow to submit myself to this thinking anymore. Thanks to my Lord and frens, I am walking out of the shadow of the valleys.